Better Than A Cardboard Box
“Think Positive” and “Count Your Blessings”
These are personal comments, not much of an Internet Marketing slant, but maybe with some educational value – like “Think Positive” and “Count Your Blessings”!! I posted some of them on line a long time ago now, in a little site run by Joel Comm called The Village.
So, here’s a little bit of my personal history, just out of random interest……… and don’t worry, this isn’t the bit where I lived in Keith’s Car, Jonny’s Back Office, Omar’s Cubicle or Mike’s Cardboard Box! (Obscure references to the hard luck tales of other Internet Marketers that I have followed).
In The Beginning…………..
I first took a gasp of English air 6 days after VE Day, in a rural part of Lancashire on the wetter side of the Pennines.
Being born so soon after such a historic and long awaited moment swayed my parents’ minds towards patriotic endeavour. Hence my initials were inevitably declared as VJ, reflecting their hopes for a quick resolution of the Japanese War that still raged on so far from that soggy, windswept Lakebank that was our home at the time!
Being declared on my Birth Certificate as “Victor John” was one thing, but as neither parent really liked “Victor” as a name I was always known as John….. and thus began my lifelong battle with a split personality! – Forever since those far off sulphurous days in the swirling yellow smog of the downwind sector of Manchester’s shadow I have been “Victor” to Banks, Customs and Excise, Doctors’ Receptionists and just about every other official body I brushed swords with, but Jolly John to everyone else – from School Cleaner to Admiral!
Have you come across these books in the “From You To Me” Series? They’re the latest secret weapon that the youth of UK today have in their armoury to tease and torture their worthy elders. You’re just recovering from a hefty dose of Brussel Sprouts at Christmas (because you’ve always been taught to “eat up your greens”), or sliding down into your armchair after a heavy portion of Birthday Cake (does anyone really like marzipan?), when slap-bang-wallop! Next thing you know you have a wonderfully wrapped bundle covered in paper and three rolls of sellotape thrust under your nose – while several little darlings demand that you force your way into it quickly, so that they can get back home to their Weewees, or whatever it is that they prance about with half the day and night! When you finally force your way in (thank goodness for Swiss Army Pocket Knives) to wonder at the delights of the treasured “Prezzie” what do you find????? A book resembling a Diary, which you are then duly obliged to fill with explicit detail in answer to some of the most challenging questions a senior citizen can be asked. (I mean to say – “Tell Me About Your Wedding Day” is either an invitation to Libel, something for after the Readers’ Watershed, or merely the call for a “How the Heck should I remember – ask your Grandma, she’s never let me forget it either!”
Anyhow, I digress a bit….. what was I talking about? Was it positivity or focus? The font I’m using is far too small for my poor eyesight and my slippers keep sliding off as I pull myself forward to peer at the screen. Still, let’s do be positive, it beats standing at the Kitchen Worktop having “Grandma” tell me yet again how she’s finished all 3 of her books whereas I’m only half way through my first. She always could remember all the embarrassing things I’ve done, whereas I was never allowed to mention hers – ON PAIN OF DEATH!
Maybe I’ll get away with one or two here, if I can recall them…….. it was on the Royal Yacht Brittania that one occurred and everyone else had a good laugh but Grandma. We were in Montreal at the time, doing our bit to keep the former Colony civil, when we were invited to one of those Cocktail Parties where we Brits fly the flag and get to talk as loudly as we like in English whilst the natives lurk about speaking French as Frogishly as they can! Oh no, digressing again, I knew I’d used the wrong keyword for this Village homily, maybe I’ll change it to “sorry, where was I?”!
We dressed up, drove to the harbour, climbed aboard (actually I believe it was a rather splendid Gangplank!) and bent forward to cross the Royal threshold through one of those Bulkheads built for the mini sailors of old. as we stood upright again before three beautifully groomed and gold-braid bedecked “Admirals” Grandma’s belt popped off and fell to the floor.
Before I could pick it up for her and head for the Brandy Dry (“Horses Necks”) she scrabbled for it herself whilst I apologised – I felt obliged to – and said “Sorry Admiral, she’s always dropping them”! Neither of us was prepared for the sight of three rows of gold braid heaving up and down as if in a choppy swell, as gales of stifled laughter burst from the red faced august bodies of Naval Blue before us. Just one of life’s little moments to me, it was a grand evening with the Marine Band playing on deck in the sunset – another rich thread in the golden tapestry of life……… apparently not quite how Grandma saw it. My ears still ring today, but I did manage to drive home after many of those delicious “Horse’s Necks” that the Royal Navy lavish on anyone who’ll entertain them!!
Well, long past my bedtime, I still work for a living (if you can call it that). As you just may have gathered, it’s now only just over 2 months since the 70th Anniversary of VE Day……. so I’m now three score and ten at last and could, in Utopia, consider retirement. But here, I’ve got Grandma to keep happy, so I have to find some way of earning a pension supplement …….. maybe I’ll write about that little village in Herefordshire…….. next time I remember how to get back in here – think positive, I WILL be back!
PS: – Feel free to take a look at another of my “Life Comments” at My Golf Balls
“Positively” – Byee for now
- Ex Hick from the countryside training at a young gentlemen’s Boarding School (Nickname Hayseed)
- Ex Royal Signals Major – long retired, but positive (Nickname ProntoMajor or The ExCommunicator – I like this one, it sounds fierce)
- Ex Surgery Manager for 12 Drs and 4 Surgeries (Nickname Pracman)
- Seaside Hotelier (12 Bedrooms, 32 for Breakfast) (Nickname Sandyfoot)
- Candle Shop Retailer (Nickname Candleman)
- Online Author and Trainer (Nickname Grizzly Grandpa).